pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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