He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
