were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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