I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
