why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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