I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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