If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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