I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
