no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
