smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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