I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
