i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
