So drunk, too bad you don't want this
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
