we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize