So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
