Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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