i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
