we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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