I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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