i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
and i looked up. we had an audience...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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