Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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