i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
