nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
