i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
