Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
