This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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