you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
