I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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