I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
