I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
