Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
