I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
