all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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