So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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