im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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