So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
