Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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