I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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