but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
