i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
