I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
