So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
