a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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