she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
