babies were throwing up all over the place
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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