It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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