Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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