why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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