Don't you send me to vm
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
