SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
