fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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