I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
