Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
