Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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