u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
pray to the hookup gods
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
