i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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