the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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