apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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