I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
