While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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