PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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