but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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