I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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