He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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