Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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