Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
