i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
