Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
