Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
